Sh*t My Drew Says

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Every now and again in our modern society, a guy’s got to own up to his faults, take a deep breath, take a look in the mirror, and say “I want to see the film ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting.

1 year ago -

1

Good Lord, I’m pretty sure my hair’s turning blonde from the intense sun bath yesterday. Either that or my Super Saiyan heritage is finally showing itself.

1 year ago

Do something funny with that baby!!!

1 year ago

That’s right world: I’m breaking out the ol’ Aquaman shirt today! I am just WAITING for a passerby to try to tell me he’s lame…

1 year ago -

1

Why is it that it takes me getting extremely drunk to make me realize it’s been over year since I’ve built a pillow fort…? I have work to do.

1 year ago -

3

[at Jittery Joe’s] These people need to STOP looking at me like I’m weird for doing yogic stretches. It’s my body, damnit!!

1 year ago

[after finding out that BullDawgFood Delivery has an App] This is going to make overeating from my couch SO streamlined!!

1 year ago -

1

I so impressed the lady running the register at Trader Joe’s with my wine knowledge that she said we should split a bottle sometime. That won’t happen in this reality, but it was still nice to hear on this “i need to down this bottle of wine”- kind of day.

1 year ago

[at Jittery Joe’s Coffee Shop] Makin’ turkey bacon at work. ALL NIGHT. Not planning on going home with any, nor will I be giving it to a single customer. This place is going to smell AWESOME!

1 year ago

[in reference to reading The Walking Dead comics] Look, I’m gonna say this with as much respect for your schooling and both your jobs as I can muster: The Walking Dead is more important than schooling and both your jobs.

1 year ago -

1